Screw You Logic

Dear Logic,

Why can’t you just go away and get out of my life when I don’t want you? For although you are an honorable quality, you are beyond obnoxious when it comes to situations in life that require logic to cease and emotions to come into play. Now, for example, I am trying to hate something, but because of your stupid logical self, you cannot even hate one thing enough to write about it. You always freaking see both sides of an argument, causing me not to be passionate about anything. Even if I really, really want to be mad at things, like ex-girlfriends who cheat, back-stabbing friends, or an upbringing lacking opportunities. ALSO, WHY MUST YOU PERSIST IN BECOMING A PART OF MY EMOTIONAL BEING!!! It’s frustrating as hell when I can’t like a person because your logical side analyzes every single problem that could occur from pursuing certain women. You may be damn helpful in school, but out in the real world you really f#$% everything up.

You affect my social life immensely. I literally cannot relax and have fun because you always interfere and show me all possible negative scenarios that could occur from an otherwise fun situation. It’s completely ridiculous, why must you INSIST on butting in when you are as welcome as a cockroach. I do not want you around when I am associating with people, trying to have a good time, get out and stay out of my social life you damned pest. I want to let loose and have fun while out with my friends, but you CONTINUALLY interfere and logically tell me why I should not be spontaneous and have fun. It’s like you’re the stupid little angel sitting on my shoulder whispering in my ear that I don’t want to hear. Where is my devil? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH IT LOGIC!? It is unbearable that I cannot do fun things because you are continually in the back of my head telling me all the pros and cons of the situation. I really want to go skydiving, but of course you must just butt into my life and tell me “oh guess what if you go skydiving, x, y, and z could all happen to you. Is it worth it? Let’s go over the pros and cons again…” And of course you always win in the debate because in the end, logic wins out over emotion. But maybe I don’t want your stupid logic anymore, maybe I want my emotions to take over and let loose, allowing me to truly enjoy myself for the first time in my life. I want to be free, experience the lives of fun that people around my get to enjoy, have fun, live in the moment, and pay for the consequences later. GET OUT OF MY GOD DAMN HEAD LOGICAL FEMALE DOG!

Nobody else has this problem, everyone else can let loose, let emotions take over, have a good time, and not go through every single thing in their head. You even infest my dreams like a pesticide!!!! I only want your clear, precise thinking while I am in school, or in dire need of planning out my day. It seems ironic to me that the one thing I hate about myself is precisely the thing that causes me not to hate things. I have every f*^$%#!@ right to hate certain people in my life, certain aspects of my childhood, certain parts of life, and much more. But because of you, I am entirely incapable because I see the good and the bad sides. I want to hate, to feel the raw and uncensored adrenaline rush flowing through my veins, have my knuckles turn white, wanting to beat the shit out of someone who offends me. However, you force me to see both sides of a story and understand that there is no need to hate the situation or the person because it’s not the “logical” or “moral” thing to do. You know what logic, I RESIGN FROM YOU AND YOUR DICTATOR LIKE RULING OVER MY BRAIN, CONSCIOUS, AND LIFE!!!!! SCREW YOU LOGIC!

Michael Adair