Friday, June 11, 2010

Thursday, June 10, 2010


Final Remix
Learning Essay

Remix Final

Here is my remix final!

Final Project - Tom Allen

Here is a link to my final website: The link to my final hypertext is entitled, "The Daily Report".

Final Project

here is the link to my index page. From there you can click spring quarter, then go to the final project:

Final Project Completed

All my projects are done! Here are the links to my Final Remix Project, my splash (index) page containing all the websites I made in the Fall and in the Spring, and my Learning Essay as requested. I emailed you as well. Have a great summer Marc!

Spring Final Hypertext Anthony Mejia

My Final Hypertext is Finished.

Here is the link:

Andrew Agcaoili-Hella done!

Final Remix

Final Hypertext

Final Hypertext!


learning essay:

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Final Project

Final Project

Mirella Villalpando - LINKS



All Done

Here are my links


Final Remix

Learning Essay

My Final Remix is finished

I emailed this to you, Marc, as well but I'll post it here to be sure!

2) Here is my page with all my projects from the second quarter
3) Here is my FINAL REMIX
4) Here is my learning essay!

Have a good summer!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Final project and Learning essay

Here is the link to my Final project

and here is the link to my Learning Essay

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Marcus' Revenge

Bri Cassara-Final Project

Here's the link to my final project.

Here's the link to my learning essay.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Not So Severe

Final Remix Hypertext Proposal

I don't remember whether or not I posted this but I finished it over the weekend before this passed Tuesday when it was due.

Remix Hypertext Proposal

Final Remix Proposal

For my final remix I plan on having a poem that remixes the theme of "changing the definition of normal" that is Little Brother. I plan to show different examples of changing the definition of normal and how it can have positive results. Along with my poem I am going to do a visual collage using many types of media such as photography, videos, music, ect. The layout of my remix will probably be a 2 layer hypertext with links embedded within the text. The only issue I am having is deciding where the rest of my text will come from; either a longer essay of my experience in the class, or also a written reflection of my take on the changing of definition of normal in our society.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Ange's Story

Here is the movie!!!

Group Members: Josh Ronen, Rebecca Murillo, Will Burke, and Anthony Mejia


even though it got deleted....we finished on TIME! HERE IS OUR MOVIE

Personal Ivasion-FINALLY!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Final Remix

For my final remix I plan to combine the use of poetry with various forms of pictures, mostly digitally edited. The topic of my project will be how this new age of surveillance is having a significant effect on how people live their lives. This topic lends itself to a lot of emotion as well as different perspectives, both of which can be incorporated into poetry. The pictures, or rather digital art of sorts, would be paired with pieces of poetry, and would work to provide commentary on the specific issues within the piece of writing. With both the poetry and the art that accompanies it, I hope to span a range of tones and emotional stances in regard to the topic, and to use a number of different devices (in the literary sense) such as humor and drama. My remix will give a number of complete perspectives on a topic within Little Brother that is on the verge of explosion. My piece(s) will also present these different perspectives in a manner far different from simply their being brought up in the novel.

remix proposal - talbot clarke

I want to do a remix of Little Brother that will be a children’s book. I liked the aspect of viewing Little Brother as a young adult novel. In my research hypertext I wrote about how Doctorow’s novel contains the common themes of a young adult novel, namely that it contains a teenage protagonist, a modern situation, and dramatic plotline. I want to use the theme that I also studied in my research hypertext, the power of the younger generation.
I do not want the children’s book to be a simple story about a butterfly. I want it to be a cross between children’s story and comic. I babysit for two twin boys who are now 7 and they read a lot of children’s comics that deal with good vs. evil and good coming out on top type plots. There are often super powers involved.
In my children’s book/comic I want Marcus to be the protagonist and be the same age that he is now. I think I might give him super powers. If I chose to give him super power I want to make the powers simple, like super-intelligence. After the conflict, which I haven’t chosen yet, I want Marcus to have to rally all of the kids in the city to reach their common goal. In the end I want them to have reached their goal but also reunite with their parents and rightful authority figures.

Final Remix Proposal

For my final remix proposal I want to examine the concept of true solitude. In today's society with all the technological advances and gadgets there are very rare times in which an individual is truly alone. We as a society have become overly dependent upon technology for entertainment, pleasure, and maintaining sanity. I want to investigate the sociological reasons as to why society at large has come to be so dependent upon technology in their lives. I will do some personal research and interview people and find out what they feel like classifies solitude and when in their life have they felt most isolated and personally alone and dependent upon themselves.

FINAL REMIX- Rebecca Murillo

For my final remix I would like to write a fictional story based on the theme of gender roles that i have been working with all quarter. However, I would like to specify the gender roles in the tech world, where the divide is not so great. By emphasizing the stereotypes of Van and Ange, I hope to apply them to the tech world and the women within it. Although there is still a sense of male domination within the tech world we do not see such animosity between genders as we do in other positions. This could be because of the fact that there are so few females in this world but nonetheless we can learn lessons by accepting the powerful females emerging in our society. I have recently read a book titled Microserfs that also tackles this issue and will probably use some of the situations to enhance my point. In my story, I plan to use 3rd person so that I can truly observe the characters and their roles in the tech world. The actual setting and plot is still in progress but I have begun working on the characters and brainstorming.

remix propsal idea(s)

For my remix of little brother I have a few ideas and I can't really decide which one would be the best. One of my ideas would be to create a mock newspaper of the time and use InDesign to create it. I would write a few articles for it and place in pictures and such and relate it to little brother. One article could be about video surveillance, another about the 'bay bridge bombing' that happened in the book, etc... It would be about a 4 page long newspaper or so.

My other idea is to create a new book cover for the book and incorporate themes into the design related to things from the book. I could make a few different ones, and put them onto my website explaining each different cover and it's significance.

OR I was thinking of potentially writing a short story based off of little brother. Instead of the bay bridge bombing I would relate it to the 35W bridge crash in Minnesota and in the story it would be a terrorist attack and relate video surveillance and the other themes from little brother into the story.

Remix Proposal

For my remix hypertext, I want to focus on the issue of surveillance. This is a major theme throughout the book, and I think that the extremity of it is a very important issue. Going off of an earlier remix that I did on this topic, I want to talk about the negative outcomes that come from over-surveillance. The first remix that I did on this was a comic strip of a man getting stopped by a policeman for no legitimate reason, and ends up being caught cheating on his wife. The presence of extreme surveillance can catch people off guard and reveal their secrets that they otherwise would not have made known. Rather than catching criminals, the police officers spend their time on petty matters such as these, and it creates a negative effect on everyone involved. They think that surveillance like that is going to help them catch the terrorists, but it in fact does the opposite because they are spending all their time interrogating innocent people rather than doing their real job. I want to concentrate on narratives of people who were just minding their own business and were wrongly stopped by a police, which resulted in some major secret of theirs being revealed. I also want to do some stuff in the point of view of the policemen, because they are being forced to do this. I want to have some narratives of police who implement this over-surveillance against their will, or others who do it willingly because they are scared to be the ones to find the actual terrorists.

remix proposal

For my final remix project, I want to incorporate two major writing styles we have learned about, comic strips and multiple view points. I want to create a comic strip of a major scene or perhaps multiple scenes from Little Brother. Below each strip, will be a narrative of what the main character from the strip above is feeling or reacting to the situation. I think this is a novel idea since Little Brother only reveals Marcus’ thoughts. It will create extra insight into the characters and reveal possible things we didn’t know. For example, maybe Jolu stopped helping Marcus with Xnet not because of his fears of racial prosecution but because he was simply scared. Combining a visual comic strip with internal monologues that gives the reader’s new information will add a lot to Little Brother.

Final Remix Proposal

For my final remix I want to write a fiction piece that displays the melodrama that is shown in Little Brother. Like my previous remix, comparing Austin Powers to the DHS, I show the exaggeration of evil. I will focus on this theme of good versus evil and will emphasis that theme through the plot I’m writing. For my hypertext I want to create a story that’s on multiple pages. It will be a puzzle. Depending on which page you click, it will bring you to a different ending of the story. By the end you could have read three different endings of the story, but could have gotten to each ending in many ways.

remix project

For my remix project, I am going to add on to the ending of Little Brother and focus on not letting the government get away with their actions. In Little Brother, Severe hair cut lady committed unconstitutional acts on her prisoners, and in the end she was let off with no consequences. I wanted to add on to the ending and flash forward to about five years later. The government at this time will be very powerful and out of control. Many events will take place to end with the government not getting away with their actions and also receiving consequences for their actions. The government in Little Brother claimed they were trying to stop terrorism; however they ended up becoming terroristic themselves. With this remix I want to show them get stopped and use their power how it was meant to be used, to protect the country. I think right now our government is going down a bad path so this issue in Little Brother is not far from the truth. This is my idea for my final remix hypertext project, and I am still working on the details.

Final Hypertext Proposition

My proposition for my final hypertext is to expand on my comic life comic and make it into a visual novel. The original comic was on Marcus being Hispanic and in a similar situation Jolu was in the original Little Brother. I want to bring up the racial issues that Jolu was discussing when they were at the party scene. I also plan on bringing up the theme of ones terrorist being another persons freedom fighter because i plan on portraying US soldiers and terrorists in a heroic and destructive light. Cory Doctorow shows Marcus evolve in the way he deals with race over the course of the story and I hope to do the same thing in my visual novel but from a different angle. And lastly I want to show the government coming off as a hassle to the people but also showing the angle of people not completely understanding the government and showing that the ultimate goal is to protect us but not always coming across like that. Ultimately through this visual novel I plan on showing issues of race, terrorism and the government in multiple angles so people could attempt to understand them.

Brandon's Final Remix Proposal

Final Project Proposition

For my final project I will continue and expand on my remix from earlier in the quarter. My remix will be a story that focuses on a alternate future of the XNET and the government. I plan to create this into a dystopian story that shows a dramaticized concept between how the future leaders of the government respond to the authoritarian government that has been created through the breaking up of the Homeland Security.

Most importantly, my contribution and thematic emphasis will be “love as a political statement”. In my opinion, love as a political statement is one of the key themes of George Orwell’s Big Brother. Since Doctorow is attempting to modernize and create a modern interpretation of Big Brother, I believe he should use this theme more than he does. In my estimate, he completely overlooks how important the theme is in Big Brother as well as in many of other dystopian novels. I will attempt to create a dystopia in which love is a tool to comment and dissent from the political powers of the authoritarian government.

While my story will be the mode in which I present my remix, my hypertext will be very different. In short, I want my hypertext to be a creative medium to give background and take on my story. My hypertext will be the XNET itself. When you go to my hypertext, it will depict the xnet. I want to have a history of the XNET, a background of the government and why they are authoritarian, XNET commands, and background of how the XNET ancestor M1k3y.

A short synopsis of my story is as follows:

It’s been 75 years since the terrorists attacked San Francisco, 75 years since M1k3y started the Xnet Resistance against the Regime-only it was they were called the Homeland Security back then…. M1k3y is long dead, but we continue to fight for the ideals that he started on Xnet. We are the last hope for humanity. We’ve learned from our mistakes, we know now that we can’t be afraid of the Regime. We must continue to live our life, and love in order to take down the Regime.

Dirty D English Proposal

Andrew Dugoni

Writing With New Media II

Professor Bousquet

May 25, 2010

English Proposal

My English proposal is as follows. I’m going to write about how a good man can become bad through a corrupt system. I am following my script about Kyle Danos, a noble policeman, who follows a corrupt system in the belief that he is protecting the people and ensuring their safety. However, he becomes aware of the corruption and injustice when his wife, Katie, is taken in by the very laws that he swore to uphold. As he follows the trail to his wife, his boss, Sgrt. McDower, traps him in an alleyway and arrests him. Danos becomes a prisoner by the laws that he himself enforced just hours ago. The way I am going to write this is through the example of Dr. Seuss. I want to write a rhyming poem, so that it will be entertaining and easy to read yet have the ability to send a message across.

In Cory Doctorow’s Little Brother, there are many issues that arise. One of the biggest issues he addresses is the government’s ability to become terroristic. In this terroristic state, government’s can violate human rights, such as the right to privacy and freedom. Cory Doctorow plays with the image of a powerful, democratic nation easily succumbing to the powerful whims of tyranny. Doctorow makes the point of how something which is considered right and just to be corrupt and cruel under the pressure of tyranny and inequality.

Topic Proposal

Michael Adair
English 2A
Prof. Bousquet
Final Remix Project Proposal
For my final remix project, I hope to add an original contribution to Cory Doctorow’s novel Little Brother through the beauty and serenity of music. One of the themes presented by Cory Doctorow that really stood out to me as an important issue that was not exactly fully developed and could be explained further was the impact of technology on the social lives of youth. One of the main issues with modern methods of communication is that it doesn’t promote actual face-to-face social interaction between youth. This causes the youth to become much more awkward and uncertain in social situations in which they actually encounter another human being, not just over the web. Therefore, I intend to write a song about an awkward shy teenage boy who is a whiz with words when it comes to texting and instant messaging, but when girls actually meet him he freezes and doesn’t know how to act because he doesn’t have time to think up a witty response to what they say. I will sing a sort of parody to a popular song, with my friend playing guitar and my other friend playing the piano to match the melody, so as to avoid legal rights issues. The hypertext will discuss anti-social teens and the rise of technology in their lives.

Final Hypertext

For my final hypertext, I want to interpret a theme in Little Brother through art. I will focus on the idea of the youth revolution. To exemplify one piece I have in mind, I will use many different circles to represent revolution in a simplistic way. The medium I would use is shading pencils. But I might add some pen and ink, and possibly some charcoal. Then for my actual hypertext, I will explain each piece (I was thinking about four or five pieces) in detail, explaining how it relates to Little Brother in my eyes.

Bri Cassara Final Hypertext Proposal

Little Brother deals a lot with the concept of surveillance. In the beginning of the book, Marcus goes into detail describing the technology used to track the students by the use of “walk recognition”, barcodes, and other devices. Before the plot even gets complicated there is a presence of a privacy issue.
As the plot unfolds, surveillance becomes an even larger problem. Marcus must learn to double check/triple check every step he makes so he is able to keep his name “in the clear.” The DHS resorts to extreme surveillance for a “good” reason.
I read 1984 during my freshman year of high school and remember being disturbed at the thought of Big Brother “watching” me. The book goes into great details regarding the extent of Big Brother’s “all-seeing eye.” I want to take a look at what would happen if the “Big Brother” type surveillance hit Santa Clara University.
In the beginning of Little Brother, Doctorow describes the “walk detecting” camera in such detail. If these types of cameras exist (which I’m sure they do), I’ve never heard of them. I want to think of possible surveillance systems that could (and might) enter into my life. I want to think of different systems that make me feel extremely uncomfortable, that way I can fully understand the negative aspects of Doctorow’s “surveillance.”
I’m not sure what form my final remix will be in. I want to look at different rooms that I use: my bedroom, the bathroom, the classrooms, Benson, my RLC’s basement, etc. My goal will be to create a possible world where someone is watching us.
I was considering the idea of a newspaper type hypertext where different articles explain different rooms and different surveillance systems, but I’m not sure that I’m sold on the idea. I’m unsure about the specifics of this hypertext, but know that I want to deal with this subject matter.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Remix Hypertext Proposal

Here is the link to my Remix Hypertext Proposal.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Shot by Shot pt. 1

Part One

in case that didn't work...

Thursday, May 13, 2010


My story is about what could have happened it Marcus and friends fought back against Mrs. Anderson and standardized testing. It plays off the ideas about how school put so much time, money, and effort into standardized testing but the tests do not really tell you anything about the students involved. In my scenario the students basically fail the school system yet it does not affect them in the long the. The kids turn out to be just fine even without the school system.


Act 1

EXT. San Francisco – Sunrise

Scene 1: Opening credits role as the camera shows different angles of the terrorist act that happened in San Francisco. The camera starts to zoom in on one of the docks in the bay area where it reveals the main characters of the story, Marcus, Sever Haircut Lady, Daryll, Jolu, and Van.

Camera is a long shot of the 4 kids getting off the boat on the dock

Marcus, Jolu, Van, and Daryll exit Severe Haircut Lady’s boat.

Camera positioned in a medium closeup, with the lens pointing up to make it appear as though the woman is the superior force.

Severe Haircut Lady:

Get out of the boat! I know that you four played a role in yesterday’s attack especially you Marcus.

Camera pans over to Marcus and his friends


I’ve told you time and time again that I had nothing to do with the terrorist attack on the bridge. You have to believe me!

Camera then has a close up of just the woman’s face

Severe Haircut Lady:

This isn’t the last you’re going to see me. This isn’t over.

Fade out

Ext. Suburban townhouse – Night

Camera is a medium long shot of the front of a house unseen before in the film.

INT. Boy’s Bedroom – Night

Camera is above a boy’s bed. The room is clearly a boy’s room as there are many posters on the walls of sports figures and other typical things in a boy’s room. The camera slowly starts to zoom in on the figures face. As the camera zooms in the boy sleeping in the bed is Daryll. The camera zooms in all the way to the boys face until the camera is entirely his face. The boy is still sleeping. Then there is a creaking iin the door and the boy opens his eyes.

INT. Boy’s Bedroom – Night

Camera is now at the base of the bed. Daryll sits up in his bed and looks concerned about the noise that he heard.


Hello? Is there anyone there?

After looking around the room for a few more seconds Daryll lays back down in his bed and tries to fall asleep.

Camera now shifts to a camera angle from the night stand. Daryll then hears another noise and he rises from his bed quickly this time as he clearly never fell back asleep.


Hey what are you doing here?

Camera now is a close up of a barrel of a gun.


Why are you doing th….

Man fires the gun on daryll while he was still talking. Camera then shows the smoking gun for a second and then the shooter starts to walk away from the bedroom.

Camera then shows the dead body of daryll. The background noise is the shooter walking out of the room. The door then creaks as the shooter walks out of the room.

INT. Marcus’ bedroom – Night

Camera focuses on the telephone next to Marcus’ bed. The phone then starts to ring and Marcus reaches across his bed and all you can see is his hand reach for the phone.



Camera switches to an aerial view of Marcus as he is talking on the phone.

Marcus pauses while the person on the other line is talking.


Oh my God!

Marcus then slams the phone down and immediately starts crying.

Fade out

EXT. Downtown – Afternoon

Camera shows Marcus from behind as he is walking into the burrito shop that clearly he has been to many times due to the familiarity that the workers have with him as he walks in.

INT. Inside Burrito shop – Afternoon

Camera then is focused on Marcus upper body as he walks in to the restaurant as he starts to tear up. Marcus then takes a few steps forward and reaches his hands out.


Van! Jolu!

Camera then shows the three of them all hug as they are clearly all still distraught over the death of their friend Daryll.


How are you guys holding up? Alright guys lets try not to make too much of a scene here, so lets sit down.



Camera shows all of them sit down trying to collect themselves and withhold their tears, so they don’t grab everyone’s attention.

Camera now shows the that the three have sat down in a booth at the restaurant and the camera is stationed outside of the booth so the we can see the side of everyone face.


How are you guys holding up?


It’s tough man, I cant stop thinking about Daryll, he was such a good friend to all of us and now he’s gone.

Van: Who would do such a thing like this?

Camera now shifts to a close up of Marcus’ face which implies that he is clearly about to say something important and serious.


You know guys I’ve been thinking since I first heard the news, do you think there is a chance that severe haircut lady was involved in this.

Camera focuses on Jolu in a close up


No way man, she works for the government. The government would never do something like that.

Camera back on Marcus as he is clearly getting heated in having this debate with Jolu and Van


I bet before a week ago you would never think that the government would torture 4 teenagers for a terrorist attack that they had nothing to do with either. Just think guys, she clearly thinks that I am a terrorist. She could be doing this to try and beat it out of me. It could be like some extreme source of torture where instead of physically abusing us she is mentally torturing us by killing our friend.

Close up on Van


This sounds completely paranoid Marcus. There is no way that she is behind all of this.

Camera back on Marcus


Guys! Think! She needs someone to pin this on, and make it look like all of these extra security measures were worth it. If she can make it seem as though I am in some way involved with this, the DHS will win, and we don’t want that.


I don’t know man, I mean its possible I guess, but it just seems so unlikely.

Marcus stands up from the table as if he is going to leave. Camera is now on Marcus standing up, but you can still see Van and Jolu sitting at the table.


Alright guys I’ve got to go do something, but do you guys want to meet up later at our secret spot.

Camera now focused on Van


You mean the old abandoned house, where we used to sneak alcohol and just hang out.


Yup that would be the one.

Fade out.

EXT. Old house - Night

Camera pans across the front of the house showing how the house has clearly not been furnished in a long time and that it is somewhat falling apart. Van and Jolu are approaching the house together looking around suspiciously trying to figure out what is going on. Camera then shifts to the front door where Van and Jolu are knocking on it to see if Marcus is there.


Marcus! Are you there! Is everything ok, we both got the text from you about how you wanted to meet us here, and that it was urgent.

Van and Jolu don’t hear a response so they try and open the door and then they walk in.



Marcus cries out from a distance.


Yea guys I’m upstairs, come on up!

Van and Jolu both look at each other as if something doesn’t seem right, but then they decide to go upstairs.

Camera shifts to the top of the stairs as Van and Jolu are walking up them searching for Marcus.

Marcus: Hey guys over here!

Van and Jolu are walking side by side with the camera at a medium close up on them. Behind them a shadowy figure appears behind them and knocks both of them out cold with a shovel. Both van and Jolu fall to the ground and now it is revealed to the audience for the first time that Marcus was the one who knocked them out.

INT. Random bedroom – Night

Camera is focused so that Van and Jolu can only be seen sitting in two folding chairs taped to the chairs. Jolu slowly starts waking up clearly scared and he looks over to see that Severe Haircut lady as well as Van has been taped to chairs.


Help! Somebody!


Nobody is going to help you Jolu.

Camera now shows Marcus face as he looks very cynical holding a pistol in his mouth.


Why are you doing this? What is wrong with you?


I’m sorry that it had to come to this Jolu, but the DHS has gotten out of control and this is the only way I know to keep everything in check so that this doesn’t continue.

Camera close up on Jolu.


What do you mean man?

Camera back to Marcus


I killed Daryll. I had to. He was my best friend. I never wanted to do something like this. As much as I care about you guys as my friends, I care more about freedom for all Americans.

Camera back on Jolu. Jolu begins crying


Youre the one who killed Daryll? Why?


Because! It was the only I could think of to get the DHS out of San Francisco and out of our lives. I am going to kill you. And then I am going to Kill van. Then I will make it look as though SEVERE HAIRCUT LADY killed herself. It will make it look like this was an interrogation that went terribly wrong.


So your saying you are killing me for freedom! That makes no sense!


No it does make sense and I’m sorry friend, but it’s the only way that we can achieve our goals. I will never forget the sacrifice that all of you guys are making for freedom. You will not be forgotten.

Camera then focuses on the barrel of the gun like in the scene with Daryll in his bedroom. Then the gun fires twice and the audience is supposed to assume that Van and Jolu were killed.

Camera then focuses on Marcus face as he is clearly crying.


I’m sorry

Marcus then walks over to SEVERE HAIRCUT LADY and points the gun directly to her head. Camera goes to black and then a gunshot is fired.

Screen is still black and on the screen it says “One week later” in white writing.


Camera is a medium shot of Marcus as he is standing behind a podium giving a speech with pictures of VAN, JOLU, And DARYLL behind him. MARCUS is speaking at their memorial service.


I stand before all of you today to say that I am no hero. The real heroes are the people whose picture you see behind me. Two weeks ago me and my friends were taken in by the DHS for no reason and beaten and tortured for suspicion of being involved in a horrific event. I stand before you all today saying that I am not a terrorist and neither were my friends. We were 4 kids who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The DHS was out of control. They claimed that they were defending us, but all they were doing was hurting us. If anything good can come from their deaths its that the DHS is no longer in San Francisco. Freedom has been achieved. The women who killed my friends and thankfully was unable to get to me, represented the DHS. She is gone. So is the DHS. The war on terrorism still exists. But the war for freedom in America has finally been won by the people. Freedom is ours because of the sacrifice my friends made.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My Screenplay Blurb

My Screen play is about Van. She has been traumatized by her experiences in Gitmo by the Bay. When the love of her life decides to risk his freedom to get back at the government, she begins to worry for him and wishes she was strong enough to help him. As she fights she eventually comes to realize that Marcus is strong because he fights for himself first. Ultimately, it is the person's choice that drives them. Van finally realizes this and tells Marcus how she feels.

Final Screenplay!

Here is my final screenplay! If it doesn't work I also emailed it to you!


Screenplay - Donnie Green

My Screenplay

Final Screen Play- Mirella

Here is the link to my final version of the Screen Play

My Script - Marie Galetto

I added two scenes to the end of the original script. I added a phone conversation between Marcus and Van a few months after Darryl gets out of jail. I also added a scene between Marcus and Darryl. These two scenes add to the audience's understanding of the aftermath of Darryl's experience in jail and of traumatic experiences in general. These scenes show how Marcus and Darryl’s relationship has been drastically altered since Darryl has been in jail. They show how Darryl has changed and how Marcus will never really understand what he went through.

My Screenplay entitled: "Unexpected Betrayal"- Tom Allen

Scene 1


The sunlight is pouring through the skyscrapers and the camera zooms down the middle of Wall Street to the Carlyle Financial Group skyscraper.

The camera moves to a single window and enters the building.

Scene 2


The camera enters the office of Jake Edwards, the head of finance at Carlyle, who is sitting at his desk typing away at his computer.

Through the window, sitting at a small desk is Jake’s secretary, Geri Scott, who is answering a constantly ringing phone.

JAKE (mumbling to himself)

What’s going on here Jake? You can’t have lost all that money! You’ll be fired and your life is gonna go down the drain! Someone else is responsible… there HAS to be someone else!


Jake! Oliver, the CEO, is on the phone!

JAKE (mumbling to himself)

Oh shit oh shit. Think of an excuse Jake you NEED to find a solution to this problem! The CFO of Carlyle Financial can’t be responsible for losing 75% of its money overnight! He’s going to demand an explanation!


Tell him I’m in a meeting with a client! I’ll get back to him as soon as it’s over!

GERI (on the phone with Oliver)

I’m sorry sir he’s in a meeting with a client. Would he be able to return your call in about 30 minutes?

Satisfied, Geri hangs up the phone.


He said it’s all right but he demands to hear from you by the next half hour!


Okay thanks Geri!
Mumbling to himself again.

Wait, wait, wait… what is this? This money was sent out to someone? There were never any reports of major withdrawal from the Executive offices. Where did this money go? And, who was able to withdraw it without my knowledge?!

Jake, a career man known for his vulnerability to anxiety attacks, begins rolling his chair back and forth while shaking his head. He rolls to his office window, observing the concrete jungle below. He begins talking to himself once more.


I pray to God that 75% of Carlyle’s money has not fallen into the hands of those terrorists. Those terrorists that, with their vicious bombings on five subway stations, were able to induce a sense of panic in this great city that has never been seen before in history. But, wait… the government enforced martial law upon New York City nearly a week ago. Not only does the military have complete control over the city, but every citizen is under complete and total surveillance. Shouldn’t the city be aware of what has occurred with Carlyle’s financial system? Yes, they must know.

After reassuring himself, the visible tension in Jake’s body loosens remarkably and he calmly slides his chair back to the desk.

The government is conscious of every move each human being makes in this citizen. If it has not already interfered then Carlyle was aware of this money being moved and it is in safe hands or my computer simply has a glitch… OH SHIT! I need to call Oliver back! GERI! Get Oliver on the phone now!

Scene 3


Geri dials the phone and then points to Jake letting him know that Oliver is on the other end.


I’m terribly sorry sir, that meeting took far longer than expected. What is it that I can do for you?

The camera switches to the inside of a surveillance van encased in all kinds of technological gadgets. One of the two men working the equipment inside speaks through a voice converter into a phone.


Oh it’s no problem son. I just wanted to inform you that a finance check will not be necessary today. In fact, I’m making today your day off, as you have not been able to rest since the recent attacks.

The scene changes back to Jake’s office. Jake appears with a perplexed look on his face.


Umm but, sir, aren’t those required daily?

Revert to the van.


Actually, I already checked it and it all is fine. Keep up the good work though son.

Revert to office.

Scene 4


Okay, I understand sir… I guess. By the way, do you have a cold of some sort? Your voice sounds fu-

Jake’s last word is interrupted by the dial tone. Due to growing suspicion, Jake decides to break “Oliver’s” request and delves further into the situation. Eventually, he stumbles across the name John Kostman, the secretary of Defense. It becomes evident that Kostman is the one responsible for moving the money.


Distributor of cash: John Kostman? The Secretary of Defense? I guess with the eradication of our privacy, the government has the ability to find the password for any sort of computer system. But, what does Kostman want with this money?

The fast and consistent click clack of the keyboard is heard once again as Jake attempts to discover where Kostman sent this money and to whom it was delivered.


SAE? That sounds familiar… Hey Geri! Do you have any idea what the letters, SAE, stand for or represent?

Geri pokes her head to the door opening.


That’s the French terrorist organization that was behind the subway attacks, sir. Remember only one cell of their organization has been arrested thus far. That is why there is so much panic right now. They’re still at large!

Jake’s familiar panic attack compulsions reappear. However, his seat rolling, foot tapping, and face rubbing has become much more severe and noticeable. He begins to talk to himself.


No way the head of the Department of Homeland Security would be secretly funding this organization! We have been supporting our own enemy the whole time?! The man in charge of protecting us is also the man attacking us? We’ll never be safe unless this man’s true identity is revealed. He has the ability to wreak total chaos among the city and no one will be able to stop it…

Scene quickly changes to a violent image of New York City being bombed with people crying everywhere. A man is screaming into nothing by himself.


Who will help us?? These attacks are not being stopped!! All of us are doomed!!

Scene changes back to Jake alone in his office.

They have used the perfect strategy to launch these attacks without hassle from the government or security because they are both of those things! But wait, if the terrorists are truly the Department of Homeland Security, then they already know that I know too much! HOLY SHIT!! Geri I have to go!! I umm I… my wife is gonna have a baby!

A look of utter confusion comes across Geri’s face as Jake furiously begins packing his belongings and searching for all components of his laptop.


But sir, you don’t have a wife… much less a girlfriend. What are you talking about and why are you in such a rush?

Jake continues searching for different items around his office compulsively. Finally, he looks up with an extremely noticeable amount of stress on his face.


I’ll explain later… I gotta run!

Jake quickly exits the office with a bulging laptop bag in hand.

Scene 5


As soon as Jake slips past Geri, he spots three black- suited men with black ties and black sunglasses. Additionally, they all have earpieces connected to a radio. As they robotically march towards Jake’s office, it becomes apparent that these men were quite obviously sent on a mission from the government it appears. Luckily, Jake notices them first and, therefore, is given a brief second to slip some other way rather than his original path towards the elevators.

JAKE (in quiet tone)

Geri… if anyone comes by tell them that I went to the copier room and I’ll be back in ten minutes.


Okay sir, but can I please ask what the cause of this erratic behavior is?

JAKE (in quiet tone)

There’s no time. All I can say is that you will either learn what I have discovered soon or I’ll be dead soon… Okay! I really need to leave goodbye!


Wait, sir did you just say you might be dead soon?!?!

Jake slips through the sideway and out of Geri’s sight before she is able to complete her sentence within his earshot.

Scene 6


Jake has slipped into a nearby Janitor’s closet and is found typing away on his laptop in the dark.

JAKE (talking to self)

Come on Jake think! You remember the GPS code for the Carlyle building you can do this!

After a few seconds of typing a “ding” sounds from the computer.

JAKE (talking to self)

YES! Now where are these guys? I need to leak John Kostman’s secret before they find me or else I’m dead! All right now the Pentagon is out of the question. I can’t trust anyone that is government affiliated right now. I’m sure the CNN news network would enjoy this juicy piece of information… Now how can I send a protected file to them? How does one go about keeping something private from an institution that can see everything? I’m gonna have to…

Jake stops abruptly at a small beeping sound… it’s the GPS. The agents are in close proximity and closing in on him.

JAKE (talking to self)

Shit! They really can track your every move! They must have zeroed in my location from my laptop’s signal!

Scene 7


Jake quickly places his belongings back in his bag, slyly opens the door and peers around the corner in the direction from where the agents are coming. He makes a dash for the other end of the hallway and hits a dead end. He then glances at the latch on the window.

JAKE (talking to self)

Alright Jake you can either stay here, let them capture you, and be killed or you can step outside this window while risking the chance of falling 60 stories and being killed, or if you’re successful, you can escape to the other side of the building continue on with the mission.

Jake quickly steps onto the ledge, the wind blowing furiously into his face, and begins traversing along the side of the building to the next open window. Right as he passes the room he was previously in, several gunshots, fired from silenced guns, come pouring through the window but Jake quickens his pace and makes it through to the other side.

JAKE (talking to self)

Just another day at the office! You’re mine Kostman!

Jake runs to another hidden closet, opens his laptop, restarts the GPS application, and resumes attempting to send CNN the revealing information regarding John Kostman’s ties to the SAE Terrorist Organization.

JAKE (talking to self)

Of course! I can send it through as a sort of Trojan horse. At first glance, the government will assume it’s a typical piece of spam mail. But, the true part of the message will contain the key evidence that will prove Kostman’s guilt.

Jake sends the message, with a grin on his face. Shortly after, the GPS system beeps, sending panic through Jake’s body once again. Before he is able to attempt an escape once more, the door is thrust open and three agents appear. They quickly put a black bag over his head and drag him away.

Scene 8

Jake wakes up handcuffed to a chair in an interrogation room. In a hazy daze, he looks up to see John Kostman, along with two black suited agents. Both agents have guns and Kostman has a sour look of frustration on his face.


How many people know Jake?


Know what? Why are you guys doing this to me?


Cut the crap! You know damn well why you’re here you little pansy! Now how many others know!?!


I – I – I… I don’t know what you’re talking about sir.


Alright sally, if you’re gonna play dumb then we’ll see if a little waterboarding will give you some knowledge.

Just as soon as the agents begin bringing in the equipment, the door slams open as five new agents quickly handcuff Kostman and his henchmen. A tall, slender man with an FBI badge approaches Jake.


Jake, my name is Robert Baylor. I’m an FBI agent in charge of this terrorist mission. You displayed a hell of a lot of courage bring this scumbag to justice. You’re looking CNN transferred the information to us quick enough or these boys would have done some work on you that’s for sure.


Thank you, sir. Am I free to go now?


Yes, you are free to go son. However, we will be meeting again soon. You’ll be receiving a medal for your valiant efforts in due time. You made your country proud son.

Jake shakes his hand, gives each of the agents a nod and exits the room. After his exit, the light slowly fades out and credits roll.

My Screen Play

My final screenplay is on my website. The link is titled SCREENPLAY! ( on the right hand side of the screen).

There are a few points to my screenplay. The first point, one that I really like is to critique and reverse the perspective of Little Brother. In my opinion, Little Brother creates a dystopia by simply SAYING the government is wrong. While I don't ask others to believe my view, I think that my screenplay attempts to do a couple of things. 1) I shows the way in which accusation is simply forced on somebody. In Little Brother it is the government that is blamed, in my screenplay it is Trudy Doo. 2) I really liked examining an alternate ending where Marcus wasn't just the victim of "government oppression" but of a single person. Again without preaching my view, I think Doctorow manipulates the reader into thinking the government is BAD without giving justification. So, my strong commentary is to simply throw Trudy Doo in the role of the government. With little explanation, Trudy Doo is Bad. I believe that my screenplay explores something that nobody else's does, and that it would be a good choice to greenlight it because it critically looks at an aspect I think many of us overlooked when reading the novel.


I'm putting this on the blog just in case my e-mail to you (marc) didn't get to you..

Scene one

The DHS has located M1k3y because of the post he made on the XNet. They know he’s in Los Angeles and have come to get him. Severe Haircut Lady is in the Black SUV along with other DHS employees.


Oh Marcus, you thought you could hide from us. You silly, silly boy... We’ve got you now.. (CACKLES)

scene two

Marcus is sleeping. Severe hair cut lady and her associates bust into Marcus's apartment and capture Marcus.


Hi Marcus...or do you prefer being called M1k3y? hmm? yes we got you now. I knew you were trouble from the start. It will be a looong looong time until you ever see the light of day again young man... (CACKLES AGAIN)

They take Marcus away.

scene three

INT. JAIL CELL- Marcus is laying on the floor of a small cell. He looks weak and tired. His clothes are dirty, and he’s crying. A guard walks by. Marcus starts yelling in despair.



Marcus keeps on crying and curls into a ball holding himself while he cries.

scene four

Marcus is dead.. The camera shoots a cemetery..

Marcus (v.o)

My name used to be Marcus Yallow--

But the Department of Homeland Security ended my life. (Pause) They thought I was a terrorist, so I fought back. But even though I'm not around anymore, my fight isn't over yet.

I will get my revenge on the DHS, and I won't let them get away with this. My life wasn't the only life they ruined.

They say when you die with a grudge, a curse is born... Well I won't stop until justice is served...

Cut to title

scene five

Severe Haircut Lady and Major General Sutherland are interrogating Darryl still about Marcus. He doesn't know anything, so they are rough with him.


Darryl, this could go a lot smoother if you would just cooperate with us. We know you've been involved with Marcus so tell us what you know...Why did Marcus make the XNet? Who is he working for?


I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what the XNet is! PLEASE! Just let me go, I swear I am innocent. Just let me gooo!

(Darryl starts crying)

major general sutherland

Oh suck it up boy. We know you know something. Just tell us which terrorist Marcus Yallow has been working for and this will be a lot easier for you..


Marcus isn't working for a terrorist! I don't know what you're talking about!!

Major General Sutherland grabs Darryl and pushes his face into a bucket of water. Then all of a sudden the lights go on and off, on and off. The General stops. Severe Haircut Lady and the General look at eachother and get worried.



Darryl is taken away

scene six

Severe Haircut Lady and Major General Sutherland are talking about Marcus, and what has been going on.


I'm gettig worried General. Pretty soon people might find out what really happened to Marcus. We can't let anyone find out, or for sure we'll be shut down.


I know, I know. But now ones going to find out (Stern voice). Not even his stupid friend Darryl knows he's gone. This is between you and me.


But we can't hid it forever. The news has been all over the DHS recently with all the glitches with the video surveillance...
General...I think it's him. (pause) It's Marcus. I think he's back..


HAHAHA now don't go all crazy on me, that's impossible. There are no such things as spirits (Laughs again)


But I feel like i'm being watched...All the time. It's like everywhere I go I feel someone's there, just watching my every move.


HAH, that's just all the video surveillance, but don't worry, the government isn't watching us, they're just watching the people

Major General Sutherland exits the room.

scene seven

Severe haircut lady and her husband are talking in the living room.


Is something wrong? You've been quieter then usual. Something happen at work?


Huh? wrong. Just a lot has been going on. Top secret though, i'm sorry honey I can't tell you. (Sighs)

scene eight

Severe haircut lady enters her office the next day, and sitting on her desk is a picture of Marcus and a note that says "I know what you have done."



She looks at the picture of Marcus on her desk and reads the note outloud.


"I know what you have done."

She has a scared look on her face, but rips up the paper, mubmbling..

severe Hiarcut Lady

(In a fast voice)

You're just being paranoid, you're just being paranoid. This is a joke. He's not back, this isn't real. (SIGHS)

She then sits on the computer to do work, but has a blank stare on her face.

SCene nine

Severe haircut lady and Major General Sutherland are interrogating Darryl again. After threatening Darryl with his life, Marcus's voice comes on the loud speaker.


OK SON, you have ONE last chance to tell us what you know. We aren't joking around. It's serious now. Everyday we get new information about possible terrorist attacks, and the information you are witholding form us is putting our efforts in jeopardy. so tell us WHO WAS MARCUS WORKING FOR?


Who 'was' he working for? (scared look on his face) What do you mean was, like past tense? Where's marcus!?


uhh...I meant 'Who IS Marcus working for."


Is Marcus dead!?



Pulls out a gun and puts it to Darryl's head


Now listen to me kid. I'm going to count down to five, and if you don't tell me who Marcus has been working for in five seconds, then I'm gonnd blow your brains out. YOU HEAR ME!? (Shouting)

All of a sudden there is a crackle on the loudspeaker and a voice comes on.



The lights flicker off and on again.


You know who I am. You ruined my life. You killed me. You took everything away from me! I'm not going to let you do it anymore, not to Darryl, and not to anyone else.

Severe Haircut Lady looks like she's about to pass out. Major General Sutherland looks dumfounded.


Don't look so stupid. You know who I am, its M1k3y. Your favorite little 'suspcted terrorist.' Well if you don't stop, i'm really gonna terrorize YOU.

All of a sudden Major General Sutherland is foating off the ground spinning around the room. Sever Haircut lady tries to make a run for it but Marcus's spirit lifts her off the ground too. They scream.


You both have ruined a lot of lives. Hurt a lot of people. All because you think you're helping national security by incirminating innocent people. And I won't leave until you stop. I have a few requests, and if you don't abide..well..then I guess you'll find out what I have instore for the both of you..


Just tell us what you want! And put us down! Please! We'll listen, we promise! Just put us down.

Marcus's spirit sets them back on the ground


First, I want you to shut down Treausre Island. For good. Let all of the prisoners go.

Second, I want you to make a public announcement. A public apology, and tell everyone what has been going on at Treasure Island.

And thirdly, in your public apology, I want you to tell my story to the people. I want them to know how you ruined my life. How you suspected me, a seventeen year old boy, to be involved with the terrorist attack under no hard evidence, and ended my life.

I'm asking you to change. To stop and to realize how much DAMAGE you and the DHS have done. IS THAT CLEAR?

Severe Haircut Lady and Major General Sutherland nod their heads yes.



Severe Haircut Lady is giving her public apology, and Major General Sutherland is standing by her side. This is televised.


To the people of San Francisco, my name is Kathy Lorr, and I work for the Deparment of Homeland Security. I'm here today to apologize to the citizens of the Bay Area for the hurt and harm we may have caused you, and to tell you about a boy named Marcus Yallow.

After the Bay Bridge Bombings a few months ago, we detained a 17-year old boy, Marcus. Eventually we let him go, but we kept our eye on him. He the created this thing called the XNet, a program used through the XBOX to fight back against the DHS. But we eventually caught Marcus, as a fugitive, who ran away leaving his life behind, all because we unrighteously accused him of being a terrorist. Unfortunately though, Marcus died in our custody.

We are admitting this to you today, to try to show you how truely sorry we are for the way we have been treating innocent individuals in this city recently. It's with Marcus's story that we can use this incident, and recent incidents, to grow from the situation and keep this from happening again.

We realize that our recent actions regarding national security have invaded many of your privacy rights, and invaded into your life. We, and the Deparment of Homeland Security are giving you our deepest apologies and promise to work on the situation to keep this city safe while not invading your constitutional rights as citizens.
Thank You.

Severe Haircut Lady and Major General Sutherland step away, and a voice over of Marcus comes on as we watch them walk away and cut to a sun setting. MUSIC.


My name used to be Marcus Yallow, and even though I may be gone, my story will live on. It's important to remember to not let people take away your rights, and to fight. I fought, and ended up dead, but I made a big change. I helped a lot of people. Hopefully, my story will keep the next Marcus Yallow from ending up in my shoes--or grave.