Objectification=Superficiality by Andrew Agcaoili

Objectification. As a society, we tend to objectify everything. College is not a time of growth in our lives, it’s a place to go party; our houses aren’t homes, just places to go after work; Church is not a place of worship, but a place taking us away from the game. Not only do we objectify places, but even people.
Most of the time, we do not even realize we objectify people. How many times have you said, “Check out that hot chick” or “Oooo, cute boy?” It has become a societal norm to treat others as things and not people. This fact, combined with our objectification of love, our society has invented a bizarre ritual for dating; we like to call it the game. The game has lead to a separation of the sexes and an overall confusion on what the other one wants. The whole “game of love” ends up becoming a superficial, irrelevant quest to get laid. The combination of the media, parental values, and simply not knowing about the other sex has led to a cycle of insecurity and superficiality in men and women, making the idea of love irrelevant.
Firstly, the media has a lot of influence over adults live their life. We all want to be like our favorite celebrities: rolling in money and surrounded in hot, crazy, sexy parties. When we’re this impressionable, how impressionable do you think kids are today?
Kids are exposed to the superficial sexual world very early. Sex is everywhere today. Music videos are filled with scantily clad women, video games are filled with scantily clad women, magazines are filled with pictures of half naked people, and even cartoon shows have scantily clad women. Sure we can cut our kids off from the media, but kids these days cannot even be considered normal without knowing about all of this sex. Both men and women grow up thinking they must act a certain way to fit in.
For example, manly men are the men who follow the media’s image almost exactly. These guys are the guys who play football, watch football, and make bets on football. They’re into working out with the bros and getting drunk all the time. These guys wear three popped collars, and when you see them at a party, you know what they are after: the vagina. The superficiality taught by the media cause these guys to only care about one thing, themselves. They are simple minded, naïve jerks. They don’t care. If they seem like they do, it’s probably related to the aforementioned goal. You will never be closer to this guy than he is with his “homies.”
In actuality, this guy is insecure about his sexuality, and adheres too closely to the media’s image of him. There is no room for error. He is expected to be the stoic character that has no emotions. He acts as manly as possible because any other way would show him to be weak. He doesn’t want to show his girlfriend emotions because he thinks she wants a manly man. So instead of bringing her closer, he alienates her away.
On the other side of the spectrum, girls are taught to be living versions of Barbie. You’ve seen these girls before. These girls have so many things in their purses it’s terrifying. These girls try everything they must and only to look like they’re on The Hills. These girls hang out in cliques and give other girls “uncomplements” like, “That shirt looks great…on a clown” or “Wow, that’s so different.” These girls can go on talking about themselves for hours.
Just like the Manly man, this girl is really insecure. Behind the plastic, there is a scared lonely girl. Her “bitchyness” to other girls is a way to make her feel better about herself. She uses boys to fulfill her needs, because she wants to feel better about herself. In reality, she wants to be close to another person, but cannot let anyone know she cares because she feels like her looks are all people want and care about.


If you do not fit in, you either become dorky kids. The type guys are the sensitive types. They act like JD from Scrubs or Michael Cera in all of his movies. His hobbies include finding creative outlets such as photography, drawing, and playing the acoustic guitar. He is usually very creative and wears his emotions on his sleeve. These guys have friends who are girls or gay, and are a little awkward. He will do anything a girl wants because he wants to see her happy. It all starts out well, but there’s something missing with this guy. He actually listens, but doesn’t stand up for himself. It’s not enough that he will shave because a girl wants him to, or that he will stand by someone no matter what. He will be dumped because he has no aggressiveness. Girls who do not fit in a will play Halo with you, kick your butt at it, and then have a nerdgasm of a conversation. They wear plaid and Converse sneakers to compliment their thick-framed glasses. They obviously do not fit the mold society gives them. In fact, sometimes they make it a point to not fit into the mold. Relationships will start out well. She loves all the hobbies, video games, and music her boyfriend does; well at least she pretends to be. She actually cares enough to do the things he want to do. Unfortunately, we men tend to ruin everything good. She will eventually express an opinion he will not agree with, and will seem an annoying parasite, who is too different for your standards. When she finally feels comfortable to be herself around him, he shuts her down because her personality is too different. She becomes heartbroken and becomes even more insecure.
Not only does the media cause insecurity, but the so do the standards of parents. As children, parents are the people we go to when we need something. We don’t realize then that in order to get what we want, we have to act the way they want us to.
Again on the male side, you are expected to be tough. You play in the mud, get into fights, and play with anything that looks like a weapon. Boys are encouraged to be competitive. Fathers push their sons into football and baseball leagues and instill the idea that “winning is everything.” Losing is not an option. A man has to be strong. Every generation, boys are taught to be the provider, directly and indirectly. Father figures, both real and fictional are always the main pillar of the house. In every TV show, the father is the main bread winner, even if he’s a bumbling idiot. Boys have to be strong and manly, or else they are failures.
On the other hand, girls are encouraged to be the little miss perfect. It takes more than sugar, spice, and everything nice to be a girl. Little girls do not play in the mud, do not fight other girls, and definitely do not release gas in anyway. Girls have to be polite balls of sunshine who are so adorable it’s ridiculous, and it’s a lot of pressure. With the idea of little miss perfect, girls grow up under the pressure of not being good enough. As a result, insecurities arise and girls try to prove themselves to be better than the other girls. They grow up to put down other girls to pull themselves up the social ladder.
Finally, the separation of the sexes makes it hard to truly connect. Boys are constantly trying to figure out what girls want, while girls are trying to fit into a mold set by the media. The fast paced world we live in has caused the new generation to be more superficial than the last. Information bombards our children, forcing them to only take the quick looks at what is presented to them. This combined with all the sex, the concept of love has been replaced with having a copious amount of sex.
The Problem for both sides is “The Game.” The Game is the rituals we go through to interact with the other sex. Both sides have their own rules for participation and jobs.
For guys, it’s a little more lenient. Men can either be a “Spartan” , where girls automatically like him for him looks, Or can be the charismatic guy, who isn’t the best looking guy, but his personality makes up for it. Having a personality does not mean that the guy has to be nice; in fact, the idea of a genuinely has been put down: “Nice guys finish last.” The man rules are that you have to start the conversation and that it is your job to get into her pants.
Girls can basically do what they want, but with two conditions. To participate in The Game, ladies, you have to be at least what guys call “decent looking” and you have to have a vagina. The rules for participation are strict. If you do not meet men’s standards, you cannot participate. Once you are in The Game, you job is to flirt, play hard to get, lead us on, and make sure our eyes aren’t on your chest for most of the conversation.
The Game, as fun as it is to play, is designed around the superficial expectations that women are given by our society. The Game is exclusive to only those who know how to play, and unless you learn, you’re going to end up alone
This endless cycle of men courting women has continued to grow and change over the years, but has retained the same principles, at least for guys: A man has to be a man and sweep a woman off her feet. This is what man thinks women want. As a result, especially with the media today, boys everywhere grow up thinking that they have to look and act like the men in 300. This means there is no chance for the average Joe.
Boys are not the only one suffering from women’s expectations, but women in some ways are taking more hits. Not every woman wants the guy of her dreams to sweep her off her feet and be treated like an object. However, the fact that men think that is what they want means that it has to be what they want. A woman today is torn between the media image of what she should be and what she actually wants to be. Women have it harder than you. How many times have you seen a fat girl have a “Spartan” boyfriend? Exactly. No guy wants to sweep an unattractive woman off her feet.
The solution? As a society, we have to stop playing The Game and come together. We have to get to know the other sex and how they feel. Both guys and girls do not want to play a game. Once the game is put out of commission, actual personality can be taken into the equation and true love can become easier to find.