I Resign

I Resign

Dear Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,

            I’m freaking done with you. You annoy the living shit out of me. I can’t deal with the second-guessing, anxiety, and unpleasantness you cause in my life. I have tried to deal with you for several years now. It’s starting to make me sick and I’m beginning to get pissed. I just want to live my life and not have to diagnose every damn thing that I do, say, or think about. My head is about to explode; there is too much going through it. Overall, you are making this transition in my life much more difficult for me. I need to focus on my schoolwork and gain order and time management in my life. I can’t do this if you are constantly trying to be a part of everything I do.  How about we just agree to part ways.

            Don’t you ever get tired of constantly going and making your presence show? What a fucking attention whore. Go bug someone else! I’m getting so tired of you and so is everyone else in my life.  I get so frustrated when you find a way to seep into my mind whenever I have decided that it’s okay for me to be happy about my present accomplishments and privileges. You only give me a certain amount of time to enjoy who I am and then, as if time has run out, you come and knock me on the side of the head. Am I not a good enough human being that I have to be limited on happiness and feeling secure about myself? Other people notice the stress you cause in my life and, often times, laugh and shake it off rather than trying to understand it. I’m so angry that you won’t give me the chance to be like them and SOMETIMES not care about every little thing. You are like an evil Jiminy Cricket except you aren’t cue and you don’t sing sweet songs. You are a living hell!
            I think we can both agree that you already have made enough of an impact on my life that you can ease off.  I want to live my life to the fullest and not feel like a freaking mental case at the end of the day. You need to let me focus on my relationships with other people and on my everyday activities. I can’t have you be a roadblock anymore. Basically leave me the fuck alone. You have made your point and I get that you are trying to test me, but there comes a point where enough is enough and that point has been reached. If you don’t want me to despise you for life, you need to seriously step aside. Let me enjoy myself, let me be a normal human being who makes mistakes, takes risks, and doesn’t ALWAYS give a care about what they do. There won’t be any more discussion about this; it’s time you headed out the door. Thank you for all of the trouble you’ve caused, see you never. Sayonara!

            Sincerely,

            Bonnie C. Given