Machinima Pitch

I came into this class, with a semi-vague idea of my basis around my screenplay. I'm trying to work my way around it try it make it more clear and concise with a beginning middle and end. Right now, after pitching my idea three times to my brilliant classmates, I am working my way in this direction. I know that this idea has potential, and I want to be able to love it so that I can run with it. The one thing that I am making different in comparison to Little Brother is that Darryl will be at Marcus's side throughout the screenplay. They will be captured by the DHS together and released together. Darryl will not be stabbed in the train station and will not be bleeding out (which led to Marcus flagging down a truck initially which was actually the DHS). Marcus and Darryl spend one complete day on their own after their release and are reluctant to go back to school to tell all their friends what has happened. When they return, they notice that there are cameras everything and a DHS officer with conducting searches at Security Checkpoint before they enter school. At the end of the school day, both Marcus and Darryl come home and are kidnapped by the terrorists during the night, the same terrorists who bombed the Bay Bridge. The interesting unknown question in this respect is: how different would life have been for Marcus if Darryl was by his side? In the novel, the purpose of Marcus pursuing the DHS was to rescue Darryl, so what reason would he have to pursue the DHS if they had released him? Darryl and Marcus are taken to the terrorist headquarters, which turn out to be in an underground lair right beneath the Port of San Francisco. The terrorists force both of them to try and infiltrate the DHS headquarters via the Internet and siphon their funds into an offshore bank account. The terrorists wanted to do this because the DHS had captured their leader and had him locked away in Gitmo-by-the-bay. Marcus and Darryl do as they are told, and attempt to make contact with their friends in family at home and do so, just so they know if they are alive and well. Marcus keeps in contact with Barbara Stratford as well on a secure server and makes sure that she is on site at the DHS Headquarters with the CHP undercover when the terrorists come to attempt to rescue their captured comrade. (Plot remains the same, the DHS is still the way it was in the book, police state). It turns out to be a trap, the terrorists and DHS agents are captured and are tried on the criminal justice system. Darryl and Marcus are set free.